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Better Attitude For Better Results

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I closed 2017 in a rather down frame of mind.

Yes 2017 was better, business wise than 2016 but I did not meet several of my 2017 business goals. I felt I was off track, unfocused and that my Mojo was missing or at least very off.

I took time off over the Christmas/New Years break to reflect, consider and evaluate this. I also talked in depth with my partner, friends, co-workers and my mentor and my counsellor.

In the end the only real problem I could find was me.

I had/have fallen into the age-old trap of “entitlement”, I mean, hey, I have already done the heavy lifting, been working at this for three straight years, so why was I not already enjoying all the results I wanted and driving off into the sunset with my hot redhead beside me in my Ferrari convertible?

“Entitlement” is not a millennial problem, nor is “poor attitude” or “false expectations”. It is a flawed state of mind applicable to all and at any age.

In this, I am reminded of the “Law of the Wood Stove” in which a man stands in front of an empty woodstove demanding it give him heat, and the longer he demands, the colder he gets, right up until he freezes to death.

To get the heat, one much source the trees, fell them, buck the fallen tree into sections, split the sections into fire wood, cure the wood, make kindling, start a small fire, coax it up into a full flame, bank the fire for the night and then and only then do you get to feel and enjoy the heat and then only for a short while.

To keep the heat, one must stay ahead of its need for wood, feed it, care for it and give it balance, not enough and the fire is gone, to much and the fire will burn down everything you hold dear.

My mistake was not in failing to start the fire, but in not keeping it fed, and properly supplied/nurtured.

I liken this to the “turning of the wheel” we learned about in Good to Great and to the lessons of executive boundaries we learned about in Integrity, in that we will only get what we build and what we tolerate.

I had lost touch with these facts and gone astray in thinking that I had done enough. What we focus on will and does change as we move forward, however the level of focus, effort, resilience and determination will never be less demanding and to think it will be is a fatal mistake.

So, did 2017 have great results?   Yes, it did, my number one goal, to be in a solid and meaningful relationship with my gal was both realized and is happily ongoing. My number two goal of dropping at least 25 pounds, was also met.

Were my business goals met?  No. And the sooner I accept this, get my act together and put my shoulder to the wheel and my axe to the woodpile, the sooner I will be on the path to realizing even greater goals and accomplishments in 2018.

Will I take my eye off these accomplishments or take them for granted? I do not plan to.  I have realized they must be invested in daily to bring life to their accomplishment and to myself. Will it take a never-ending focus, effort, and heart ache to gain further on my business goals? Yes, but if not me, then who?  So, here I go into 2018. Entitlement at zero, effort to maximum.

What about you?

And Now For The Last 25

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Have you heard this saying; 25 years to learn, 25 years to live and 25 years to leave a legacy?

I think it’s a Stephen Covey line and I first hear it in the mid 90’s way back when I was in that second period, 25 years to live. At that time I never gave this saying (or what it meant) much thought or consideration, I was too caught up in the moment to worry about the future, self-actualization or even consider what my legacy might or would be.

How times have changed. The closer I got to 50 the more I realized that “I do not know, what I do not know”, and that while I may not be stupid, I sure was ignorant. I realized that to just keep going, let alone get ahead I needed a lot more EQ (Emotional Quotient) and not more IQ (Intellectual Quotient). In the most straight forward of descriptions I needed to learn and understand a lot more about the “WHY” people do things (or not) and stop worrying about the “HOW” things should, could or would work.

As a person not yet ready to rest on past accomplishments I refocused myself on further education, and while helpful it did not really fill the EQ need, in fact, if anything it reinforced how much I did in fact need to get on with developing a much stronger EQ.

Out of that educational process one piece of truly missing personal development became clear, I had no mentor, no confidant, no voice of sober second thought, no wise man/woman who would tell me what they really thought without anything to gain, fear of reprisal, or politics. Someone who would deliver the straight goods, and tell it like it is.

I took up the challenge of finding a well suited mentor, which as it turns out is a lot harder to do than one might think. Like all good things hard work and relentless effort is required to truly arrive at a meaningful accomplishment. However no matter how hard I worked at this, my mentor remained hidden from me, desired, but not found.

Then one day I was in a coffee shop having a detailed, and passionate discussion with a colleague regarding the merits of several different business books, and as we were leaving a gentleman, well my senior but who I had met once a few years ago stopped me and said quite directly “I would like to talk with you about those same books”. The rest as they say is history, I found my mentor, not just in business but in life.

I am now 53 and he is 68, he is semi-retired, and the past president of a local college and I am getting ready to put in the best 10 years of my working life. We talk about everything and from all possible angles, we talk mostly business but not so much the numbers and more about the important stuff (the “WHY”) leadership, role modeling, decision-making, decision impact, helping people grow, and unlocking opportunities for others, we examine life in terms of our shared Christian faith and from time to time about health (both), motorcycles (him), gardening (me), and the very essence of the mentor/mentored relationship itself. We ensure that we meet with a purpose and that out actions going forward are both purposeful and accountable.

I have gained immense value from this relationship, and I am in great debt to my mentor for all the grace, insight and advice he has given me. I do however have one major regret in all this and that is simply that I should have started this 25 years sooner.

Today, looking back at my career if I had a mentor of similar quality back then, today I know I would have worked less, accomplished more and would have done it leaving a better legacy in place.

So what does today look like, well I get together with my mentor for a breakfast every two weeks (when he is town) but I have also taken up the challenge of being a mentor, in fact there are three and sometimes four people I am mentoring in one way or another at any given time. Some once a month others every two weeks.

We are building truly great relationships, based on trust, confidentiality and full on, anything goes dialog and debate. The rewards of doing this are huge, for me not just for them. I come alive preparing for and being in these meetings, I take the role seriously and in turn I am taken seriously. I am almost four years into my 25 years of “leaving a legacy” but enjoying every moment of it.

So now the big question…

Do you have a mentor, if yes, excellent. If no then get one, you will not regret it.

Are you a mentor, if yes, excellent. If no then you should consider, seriously consider becoming one.

Pull up beside that young crew and the plant, in the office or on the job site, share a coffee and just start a relationship.  Talk about things that matter universally, talk about life, listen and consider thoughtfully and come back a few days later and say “I was thinking about what you said, have you ever considered…” guess what, you just started down the mentoring path.

It can be that informal or very formal with action plans, check boxes and strategic thinking, anyway it works, it’s a good thing. Bottom line is that IQ will only get you halfway.

EQ will get the other half and the school of EQ, it is best found at the feet of a mentor.

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